ugly people sure do ruin things
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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