What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
