she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize