I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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