my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
