Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize