he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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