Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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