I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
