yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Randomize
