we have pet lesbian snakes
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
