I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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