How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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