last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
