She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
