Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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