Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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