Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize