lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
