woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
