the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
