I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
worst night to have a conscience
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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