I just made out with a guy for $7.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
