I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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