..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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