I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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