dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
