Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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