This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
