I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
