Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
