tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
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