It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Randomize
