Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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