why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize