I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
