What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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