He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
