Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
