it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
