I just pynch a tree in the face
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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