her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
