And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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