Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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