I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
