I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
