it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
