I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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