Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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