If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize