I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
