i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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