we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
