piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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