WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
