he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize