Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Vodka?
Forever.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
