So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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