After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
