While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
