i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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