i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
