matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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