But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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