now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
