I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
