Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
