Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize