Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
