So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
