there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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