i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
