There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
