I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
