to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
