You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
