Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
