There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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