I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
