I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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