We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
