I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize