Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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