Your face is a jimmy john
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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