Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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