so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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