Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
