Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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