I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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