What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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